Thriller Script (edit 2)

The Rite Stuff

Scene 1: opening
CLR
Outside Cabin - Dusk
(Shot opens up to embers dancing above a fire; slowly pans down to a crackling fire and slowly and then trucks backwards revealing three characters sitting around the fire and talking while smoking.)

Alan: You ever wonder if John Wayne Gacy Jr. felt bad for what he did?
Jacky: You think of serial killers often?
Alan: I’m serious. I heard that when he killed his first victim it was because he thought his lover was attacking him with a kitchen knife and ended up killing the boy with it. Afterwards Gacy realized he jizzed himself from the intense moment and became addicted to the feeling.
Gerry: (laughs) And you decide to bring this up when we are far away from civilization and our phones have awful service?
Jacky: Alan Brennan… The next Jeffery Dahmer.
Alan: I’m just curious!
Gerry: That’s how it all starts.

(B.J., who has been hiding in the woods, jumps out screaming with an animal mask on.)

Alan: HO-LY… shit! (everyone jumps only Alan had a voiced reaction however.)
(beat)
Jacky: B.J.?!
Gerry: What the fuck bro!? Did you seriously drive all the way out here just to scare us?
B.J.: (laughing hysterically) That. Was. Priceless! You should have seen yourselves! Like deer in headlights! Except for Alan over there… I think he pissed himself.
Gerry: You really must not have any friends if you’re out here prancing around with an African mask.
B.J.: Ha! I’m not the one who reserved the cabin for the weekend and only brought your girlfriend and your “partner”. Sounds like an orgy to me.
Gerry: Yep you’re right! Fours a crowd though so go home…
Alan: Don’t you work on the weekends?
Jacky: He doesn’t have a job..
B.J.: Whatever, I have a job! Full time job of rockin people’s faces off. Speakin of… (reaches for the joint.)
Gerry: Iiif you say so… (passes it to him)
B.J. (In between his two puffs.) Have you taken them to the burial ground yet?
Alan: The what?!
Gerry: There’s an Indian burial ground not far from here.
Alan: And why didn’t you tell the Anthropology Major?
Jacky: We were going to surprise you in the morning… great job!
B.J. It’s a lot cooler at night anyways.
Alan: I’m down.
Jacky: Nuh-uh. You guys have fun. I can sit and work on my article anyways.
B.J.: Let’s go let’s go let’s go! (scene cuts as he says this line.)

Scene 2
CLR
The burial ground - Night
(Shot moves down the side of an overgrown deer stand on the mound and they move through thick brush towards it as the camera levels. An owl hoots in the distance.)

Gerry: Yeah no one hunts in this stand anymore. Every time someone tries to fire a gun from the mound… The gun won’t fire. But the moment you step off, it’s like nothing was wrong.
B.J.: My firearm’s working fine.. (cuts to B.J. as he is shown from behind clearly taking a leak.)
Gerry: Oh so you got the burning to stop after that Malaysian whore?
B.J.: You mean what I got from your mom?
Gerry: (beat) you do realize we are brothers?
B.J.: Fucking amazing?! (holds an object we can’t quite see and comes running over.)
Gerry: Where did you get that?
Alan: Lemme see –

Scene 3
CLR
Outside Cabin - Night
(shot comes up of a piece of ceramic pottery in fire light. They are all around the campfire drinking beer.)
Jacky: What does it say?
Alan: It’s hard to tell. There are only fragmented phrases but I think it mentions a boy.. (beat) who. gets lost… from his tribe.
B.J. Laaame
Alan: (ignores B.J. continues interpreting) The boy is given some kind of choice between objects… that determines what kind of man the boy will become…
Gerry: We should definitely take this to your professor when we get back.
Alan: For sure.



Scene 4
CLR
Outside Cabin - Night
(Shot of Bathroom as Alan walks in, almost glances into the mirror. He walks over and pees and stares at the wall in front of him, lost in the photo in front of him. Unaware, he wavers closer and closer until his center of balance forces Alan to just use his head and stop his fall and still be able to pee in the toilet. He then uses one hand to push himself off the front wall and shakes his head.)
(He then zips and walks toward the sink. As he reaches to turn the sink off, he picks something out of his teeth and is disgusted with his drunken state. He washes his face to rejuvenate himself a little.)

(They are all still sitting outside. Gerry takes pictures of the cabin and some of his friends as Jacky and BJ sit by the fire drinking.)

B.J.: SHHHIT!
Gerry: What?
B.J.: I think someone just threw a rock at me.
Jacky: Tell them to do it again.
B.J.: I bet it’s Alan screwin with me.


(Camera cuts back inside as Alan is getting done washing his face and drying it with a towel. He then proceeds to open the door.)

(cuts back to B.J. and he gets hit again.)

B.J.: Aghh-Ok! Where you at douchebag?

(A large thud* is heard behind the cabin. B.J. leaps up and holds a finger to his mouth. Then he sneaks off to the side of the cabin.)

(Camera cuts to a side shot of Alan and a large black figure looming over him in the doorway. Alan freaks, slips and nails his head on the counter. THUD!*)

(B.J. is behind the cabin looking down the ravine for Alan and sees a shadow duck off behind a tree.)

B.J.: (chuckles to himself) And he thinks he can scare me? (Quietly heads down the ravine after him)

(Alan is still lying on the floor of the bathroom writhing in pain and looks to see that there isn’t a figure there anymore. He gets up still feeling his head throb.)

Alan: That was slick… (Kicks at the puddle of water on the floor and then looks around but no one is there to catch the pun. Shakes head slightly)

(Alan walks outside and Gerry is taking pictures and Jacky

Alan: Where’s B.J.?
Gerry: He went lookin for you.. Where’ve you been?
Alan: The bathroom..
Gerry: The whole time? What were you doing in there, buffing the bishop?
Alan: That’s funny… I got sick , threw up, washed my face, slipped, and hit my head on the countertop… Fuck my life…
Jacky: Someone going to tell B.J. that Alan’s been here?
Gerry: I don’t have a connection out here… (beat) Let’s let him wander around a bit.

Scene 5
CLR/BNW
Woods, Night
(B.J. is wandering and hearing sounds of sticks hitting pine trees. He thinks Alan is trying to scare him. Wanting to beat him at his own game, B.J. pulls out the drumsticks he always carries in his back pocket and starts hitting the trees in response. First simply hitting once and then playing with rhythms, paradiddles, etc… The responding noises lead him upon a stream which runs into a small embankment covered with foliage. He comes upon three seemingly constructed circles of bedrocks, each one enshrining a different object. Two of which have two different plant growing out of them.)
B.J.: (of course, quickly takes what is in the center circle, a ceremonial blade with a goat horn for a handle.) Nice… (He unsheathes it and at the same time a piercing screech echoes through the woods.)
B.J.: What the… Fuck was that? (Gives up on the sneaking and decides to yell for Alan.) Hey Alan! Did you hear that? (nothing)

(B.J. leaves the foliage and begins to trek back to camp. He begins to hear brush rustling from location all around him. The scream comes again only this time it sounds as though the sound blew right by him. B.J. becomes startled. The woods seem much more alive now, trees waver, the sun casts long shadows because of it’s low position in the sky. He looks around rapidly as the camera takes more of a 1st perspective throwing the bearings of the audience. The noises get more and more intense. This beast sounds violent and it moves so fast you only see a blur. B.J. thinks he can hear where the next pass will be from. He looks and gets a glimpse of it coming at him. [done with an ambiguous figure quickly approaching and using skipped frames so it jumps forward.] He puts his back to the tree in front of him and listens for it to approach. This time the shriek is bloodcurdling. It gets louder and louder until B.J. swings out from behind the tree and thrusts his dagger at the creature. At the moment he jumps out, the high pitch ring instantly dissolves out into a cry of pain from Gerry. Gerry’s face is already pale as his writhing hands cling to B.J.s shoulders. B.J. looks down to see blood gushing out of the deep wound in Gerry’s gut. B.J. tries to back away but Gerry, gasping for air, tries to grab at B.J.. Confusion is across Gerry’s face as B.J. pushes him off. Grabbing at whatever he can, Gerry reaches and pulls B.J.’s shirt with one hand and the other pulls one of the drumsticks that was sticking out of B.J.’s back pocket. B.J. yanks his shirt out of Gerry’s hand as Gerry topples over face first plunging the knife deeper and finishing the job. Gerry lays face down with left hand underneath him [including the drumstick which is clutched in it] and only his right hand blindly outstretched in front of him.)

Scene 6
CLR
Outside Cabin – Night
(Alan and Jacky are still outside the cabin. They throw the Frisbee back and forth across the top of fire. B.J. walks up.)

Jacky: There you are!
Alan: Where’s Gerry?
B.J.: Is he not with here?
Jacky: He went looking for you.
B.J.: (shrugs) I didn’t see him…
Jacky: Oookay. Well… catch! (throws Frisbee at B.J. and he is slow to the draw. He gets hit.)
B.J.: What the hell Jacky!!!
Jacky: Jesus… lighten up.
B.J.: I need to take a leak. (walks to the cabin.)
Jacky: You could at least throw it back…

(B.J. doesn’t respond and continues inside. Shot moves inside the cabin as B.J. walks in and sees Gerry’s keys on the counter. He takes them and puts them in his pocket then moves to the bathroom. There he washes the small bit of dried blood off his hands. He stops for a moment and stares at himself in the mirror. He’s sickened and finally comes to takes in what happened. He vomits in the toilet and lingers above the rim for bit as he breathes heavily. Then he gets up to wash his face and then realizes he has only one drum stick. He knows things are complicated and is still assessing his plan of action.)

Scene 7
CLR
Dawn - Inside Cabin/Outside Woods

(Alan and B.J. are lying on their cots asleep as Jacky is restless for Gerry hasn’t returned. She decides to go alone and search for him. Shot shows B.J.’s head silhouetted by the dim light through the window. As Jacky exits light shines on the front of him showing that B.J. is actually still awake with his eyes peeled.)

Scene 8
CLR/BNW
Dawn, woods
(Jacky sees a body in the distance laying face down in the leaves.)
Jacky: Gerry!?!
(Runs over to him. She stops before the body and freezes out of breath wondering what to do. Jacky pushes Gerry over to reveal his bruised face and bloodshot eyes from the settling of fluids over night. At this moment the color of the scene drains away starting with the sight of the body and everything is again Black and White. A wound in the stomach is apparent as the bloody knife lay next to him. Jacky doesn’t have to check that he’s dead.)
Jacky: Oh.. shit.. SHIT! (pause) Gerry…
(Fighting back tears, she attempts to compose herself and slow down her breathing as she then gains courage up to search the body. Jacky reaches to lift up the shirt first, the blood sticks to the cotton as she pulls it back. Being a stomach wound, bile from the intestinal juices digest Gerry’s body inside and out, the fumes hit Jacky in the face. Quickly the shirt is dropped and Jacky nearly vomits. She remains on her knees staring unmoving at Gerry’s lifeless body. Finally she lets out a scream and breaks down into tears slowly reaching out to feel his cold face. Grabbing the bloody knife next to Gerry and looking it over, she wonders where such a device could possibly come from.)

Jacky: Who the hell did this to you?
(beat)
B.J.: Jacky! Are you all right?
Alan: We heard you scream from the Cabin.

(B.J. and Alan walk up as they then see Gerry’s body next to Jacky. B.J. runs up shotgun in hand to get a better look at the corpse. Alan stares motionless, unable to quickly grasp what has happened.)

B.J.: Gerry!
Jacky: You don’t have to check him. He’s dead…
Alan: …What happened?
Jacky: I don’t know! I found this lying next to him but I just don’t understand…
B.J.: (quickly jumping up to see what she found) What is that? Some sacrificial dagger? (taking it from Jacky)
Alan: (snapping) Someone just sacrificed my best friend and left him out in the fucking woods? We have to do something!
Jacky: Like what Alan?! Whoever it is, is long gone by now!
Alan: HE’S DEAD JACKY! WE HAVE TO GET HELP!
B.J.: NO! we don’t… if we get help, who do you think will get blamed? I don’t see anyone else out here!

(At this moment Jacky notices what lies in Gerry’s left hand, a drumstick.)

Jacky: Not to mention your fingerprints are all over that knife.
Alan: Who the hell uses a ceremonial blade to murder someone?!
B.J.: Then we take the knife and toss it, and leave the body.
Jacky: If we do that the cops will think it was us! People know we came up here together.
Alan: Are ya’ll not worried about who did this?! They could come for us!
B.J.: People know you came up here. I’ve got my own ride…
Jacky: Fuck you B.J.!! He’s your own Brother!
Alan: She’s right we can’t just leave him here.
B.J.: If you tell anyone they are going to think it was us!
Jacky: Most likely just you…
B.J.: and why would they think that?
Jacky: I’ve seen how you look at him… You’ve always been jealous of Gerry.
Alan: What the hell are ya’ll talking about!
Jacky: Jealous of his talents, his success, his girlfriend.
B.J.: You’re full of shit.
Jacky: You’ve got no job, no life, no love. I’ve seen the way you look at me. Wishing you could be him. You’re so fucking worthless.
BJ: Shut up Jacky!!
Jacky: Don’t blame me for being a failure BJ! You were jealous of everything Gerry was and wanted it for yourself!!
BJ: Shut up!!!
Jacky: Wanted it so bad that you’d rather him not have anything because compared to him you WERE SHIT!!!
BJ: SHUT! (Hitting Jacky with across the face with the butt of the gun) UP!!!

(Alan being surprisingly quick to react grabs at the gun and attempts to wrestle it from BJ.)

BJ: Let go Alan! And I won’t shoot you!

(Alan headbutts BJ in the face and BJ loosen his grip enough for Alan to rip it out of his grasp as BJ falls to the ground beside Jacky. Alan instantly has the gun on BJ. Jacky is still dazed on the ground.)

Alan: Did you kill him?!
BJ: What..
Alan: Did you kill Gerry?!!
BJ: What do you think?!
Alan: ANSWER ME!!
Jacky: (still somewhat dazed) of course he did.
Alan: I want to hear him say it.
BJ: Of course not he’s my own brother!
Jacky: LIAR! (she jumps to get on top of BJ but Alan pushes her off and faces her with his back to BJ. Bad move.)

Alan: Jacky you don’t KNOW THAT!!
(As Alan says this, BJ rises up behind Alan with the blade in hand, swiftly reaches around his throat and gives him a Columbian necktie. Alan falls and holds himself up on a tree gradually sliding down as his hand leaves a single diagonal smear down the side.)

Scene 9
BNW
Outside Cabin – Day

(BJ reaches for the gun and Jacky is already bolting towards the cabin. She rounds the side of the cabin and there is a wood axe leaning on the wall. She picks it up and puts her back to the wall at the corner and tries to silence her breathing and listen for BJ. There is a moment of silence as she waits anxiously, hoping he rounds the side she’s on. Luckily he does and we see a barrel peek around the corner. She swings down aiming for his hands but he lets go and the gun and ax hit the ground. BJ grabs her and begins to drag her inside the cabin.)
(Jacky bites down hard onto his forearm)

BJ: AAAAGGHH!! SHIT!!

(Jacky runs back to the ax but trips and falls around the corner twisting her ankle and let’s out a scream. BJ sees hears this and laughs. He walks around the corner to see her laying face down on the ground in pain.)

(Jacky rolls over, gun in hand. And cocks the shotgun once.)

(beat. BJ stares at her wondering if she‘s got the guts.)

BLAM!!)

(BJ’s head is demolished as his body instantly falls backward to the ground.)
(Jacky rolls over and instantly has time to think about everything, her eyes well as the shot fades out. The fire still is smoldering as we see her tear off in the car.)

(The Credits Roll)
End.