Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Memory Essay
My memory is of a dream. A dream is after all our mind subjectively organizing our memories. My dream starts out at night. MY friends Stephen, Austin, and I just pulled up next to this dimly lit street where we have information of a couple of thieves that had just skipped town in a hurry. Circular stepping stones lead the way up to the dark and hollow shell of a house. OUr lights search the interior of the house inquisitively. The interior is barren save for a brand new bike laying in the middle of the living room. Light glistens off the stainless steel cylinders of the frame. CRASH! Stephen is already inside the house lurking through the shadows. He approaches the bike, a narrow hallway falls behind him. Slowly light leaks through the door at the end of the hall. The light grows brighter as the door cracks open. A silhouette falls in front of the light and moves ever closer to stephen. Austin and I move to Stephen to make sure he sees this figure. We don't move. The figure still glides ever closer, yet we don't move since we are too curious and the figure does not appear menacing. The figure of a girl is revealed. Her head bowed down, still moving closer she appears to glow a faint white. Slowly her head raises to show a fair complexion, yet her eyes remain closed. Suddenly her eyes shoot open to a blackness completely void of any light; a glimpse into the abyss. We bolt. Our feet soaring over the grassy lawn we reach the truck. Stephen takes advantage of the truck bed as Austin and I jump in the cab. Upon takeoff I remember that we left the front door wide open, and as my gaze reaches the horizon in front of us, two black eyes are seared into the windshield.
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since i like horror movies I would personally love to see this as a film. I can't fully visualize it though because you say it was a dream you had. To me dreams are vague, ambiguous, and unclear and concise language is the exact opposite. I think there are some really interesting visual elements you could incorporate with this story into a film.
ReplyDeletei want this to look like a B-rated horror film. Like I want it really really cheesy, and since it's a dream, you could capitalize on the ridiculousness of it.
ReplyDeleteIt seems as if you are treating dreams as a subconscious retelling of your memories. I think it could work. The things to be very careful of is how you want the movie to be perceived in the end. Is this going to be cheesy, or do you want it to be a cerebral thriller?
ReplyDeleteAlso consider what your story becomes when you remove the statement "this is a dream." It radically changes the way your movie is intended to be seen. Again, what is your intention with this movie?
Finally, the first few sentences, leading up to entering the house could flow a bit better. There is some confusion, for me at least, if they are in the house because they know the thieves were there, of if it is their house, and they just found out their things were stolen.
Overall i found reading this very suspenseful. Your word choice during the emergence of the figure and describing the light was very intense for me. I definitely feel this is the peak of the plot and i should be executed at your fullest potential. I'm not quite understanding the goals of you and your friends. What significance does the bike have. Maybe quick images of whatever happened to the bike could be flashed in at the beginning of the movie, just to get some background information. Also, I know simply by your essay that this is based off of a dream but the content isn't necessarily dream-like. So are you trying to make it seem like its a dream in the movie or is that aspect just dropped. If you wanted to make the connections between dream and memory, I think you somehow need to show that within the content of the movie, even if it short and symbolic.
ReplyDeletei agree with natalie 100%. i want to see this extremely cheesy. in general, i find dreams to be in one of two realms - extremely cheesy or extremely horrifying. In your case, I can really only see this as being ridiculous. The last part I could see maybe as horrifying but I'd rather you play up the ridiculousness of the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteFirst, yes this should be at least a little bit cheesy, but dont make it ridiculous. The description of the girl was a god one, and one that i think could transfer over to the screen well, if you execute it right. How is up to you, though. Your characters will determine how the audience receives this, for better or for worse.
ReplyDeleteI would recommend watching Sam Raimi's EVIL DEAD if you haven't already. There's a perfect balance between horror and campiness that crossed my mind as i read this. something to consider.